Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
