The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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