I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
