Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
