Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
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