it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
