I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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