Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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