I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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