he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
