I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
