Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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