The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
