Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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