your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize