i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
