I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
