so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We need to rekindle our bromance
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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