So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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