This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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