i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
