PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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