I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
