I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
