you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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