I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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