Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize