Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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