Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
