In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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