i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
