it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
