omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
