babies were throwing up all over the place
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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