I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
