ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she told me i tasted like america
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
