The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
