Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
