Having a random hookup so left but love u
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize