his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
either way he was missing a nipple.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Drunk is a universal language darling
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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