I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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