she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize