Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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