CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
