it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he puts the penis in happiness.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
