do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
