I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
