Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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