I'm going to jail i love you
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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