WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
