I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
