i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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