It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize