The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The power of my boobs compel you
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
