No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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