i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you win again, gameday.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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