Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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