puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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