Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
