I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
