sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
