I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
