I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
