I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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