pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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