He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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