i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
