Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
