he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize