just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
