I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
