I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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